Driving myself crazy
I have now completely convinced myself that I'm pregnant, and every little twitch of my body further cements that feeling. Of course, I think it's quite possible that it's all in my head.
My stomach is still grumbly and gassy, though a bit less than it was on Thursday and Friday. And starting last night I feel completely wiped out. I crashed on the couch for about 45 minutes late yesterday afternoon -- not unusual for a Saturday. But when I woke up, I was groggy and still exhausted. Had to drag myself out to the movies with Darren (we saw Sideways, which I thought was much better than Alexander Payne's other stuff, but not capital-G Great). And this morning all I want to do is lay on the couch.
Of course, there are many explanations for my fatigue and my stress belly other than pregnancy. I've been pretty active this weekend, and surely need a day to lay low, read the paper and be mellow. And the holidays are certainly stressful; for some reason I am really antsy to get my Christmas shopping done, as if it all has to be done RIGHT NOW rather than in bits and pieces over the next few weeks. I'm feeling verrry impatient, which totally affects my guts. And on top of it all, I'm realizing that I really want to be pregnant, so who knows how I am manipulating myself to feel these symptoms.
By now you're probably asking yourself, why doesn't she just take a pregnancy test?
Well, I actually bought one yesterday and am waffling about when to take it. The directions say you can take it as soon as five days before your next period is expected. The problem is, since I'm so recently off the pill, I have no idea when that is. We are heading off to D.C. and Baltimore on Thursday to see Ginga and DP, plus D. and C. So I'm thinking I will take the test that morning, which I think should be late enough. Besides, Thursday is Darren's birthday, so if the test is positive, that's one hell of a thing to celebrate.
For now, we're heading off to take Rocky on another beach walk with friends, after which we'll all head to our favorite breakfast spot. And then it's several hours on the couch for me.
My stomach is still grumbly and gassy, though a bit less than it was on Thursday and Friday. And starting last night I feel completely wiped out. I crashed on the couch for about 45 minutes late yesterday afternoon -- not unusual for a Saturday. But when I woke up, I was groggy and still exhausted. Had to drag myself out to the movies with Darren (we saw Sideways, which I thought was much better than Alexander Payne's other stuff, but not capital-G Great). And this morning all I want to do is lay on the couch.
Of course, there are many explanations for my fatigue and my stress belly other than pregnancy. I've been pretty active this weekend, and surely need a day to lay low, read the paper and be mellow. And the holidays are certainly stressful; for some reason I am really antsy to get my Christmas shopping done, as if it all has to be done RIGHT NOW rather than in bits and pieces over the next few weeks. I'm feeling verrry impatient, which totally affects my guts. And on top of it all, I'm realizing that I really want to be pregnant, so who knows how I am manipulating myself to feel these symptoms.
By now you're probably asking yourself, why doesn't she just take a pregnancy test?
Well, I actually bought one yesterday and am waffling about when to take it. The directions say you can take it as soon as five days before your next period is expected. The problem is, since I'm so recently off the pill, I have no idea when that is. We are heading off to D.C. and Baltimore on Thursday to see Ginga and DP, plus D. and C. So I'm thinking I will take the test that morning, which I think should be late enough. Besides, Thursday is Darren's birthday, so if the test is positive, that's one hell of a thing to celebrate.
For now, we're heading off to take Rocky on another beach walk with friends, after which we'll all head to our favorite breakfast spot. And then it's several hours on the couch for me.
posted by mc at 9:27 AM
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