Getting out there
Today I took a big step (for me, anyway): I gave my number to a couple I met at story hour at the library this morning. Their son is six months old, and they just moved to the neighborhood from way, way out of state. We chatted a bit after the chaos of the Eensy Weensy Spider (and here I thought it was Itsy Bitsy...) and the Hokey Pokey, then ended up walking out at the same time. Feeling bold, I offered the woman my number. She seemed pleased and stopped at my car while I rummaged around for a pen. She didn't offer hers in response, so I sort of wonder whether she thinks I'm a crazy stalker-type person, or if I'll ever hear from her... who knows.
In the last 36 hours, I've been doing this sort of thing a lot. Yesterday morning I emailed my neighbor to see if she wanted to get together with the babies sometime (her daughter is a month older than Ess). I went to the moms' group at the birthing center and chatted with several people, then came home and called the woman I'd met there a few months ago to see if she and her son want to get together sometime. Her landline was not in service, and she's got an out-of-state cell number, so I wonder if I missed that opportunity altogether. Still, I made the call, which was more than I've done in months.
I've been wanting to make friends with some other new moms for a while now; my only close friend nearby with a kid near Ess' age also has a toddler, so her free time is limited (though we do manage to drop in on each other fairly regularly -- we've agreed to a late-afternoon open-door policy, which is a major salvation on those days when I'm going stir-crazy at 3 pm and bedtime is still hours away). This friend also works full-time, so she's not around during the day on Mondays and Tuesdays, when I'm home with Ess. (She works in the schools, so she's home relatively early in the day.)
So I'm hoping that at some point one (or more) of these other feelers I've put out there will result in some fun for Ess and me. As for what finally spurred me to act? It's a combination of a couple things, one of which is the delight Ess clearly takes in being around other kids. (At storytime, she had absolutely no interest in the activities because she was too busy staring wide-eyed at the other babies, several of whom came by to give her toys to hold.)
The other, though, is more significant: I am no longer looking for the Perfect New Mom Friend (tm). I think I've unconsciously been waiting to act until I find someone who is smart, funny and agrees with me on almost everything. And that just ain't gonna happen -- nor should it. So rather than sit in my house alone, reading the Baby ABC book over and over and over again, I'd like to hang out with some folks I like reasonably well. And if one of them turns out to be the Perfect New Mom Friend later on? So much the better.
In the last 36 hours, I've been doing this sort of thing a lot. Yesterday morning I emailed my neighbor to see if she wanted to get together with the babies sometime (her daughter is a month older than Ess). I went to the moms' group at the birthing center and chatted with several people, then came home and called the woman I'd met there a few months ago to see if she and her son want to get together sometime. Her landline was not in service, and she's got an out-of-state cell number, so I wonder if I missed that opportunity altogether. Still, I made the call, which was more than I've done in months.
I've been wanting to make friends with some other new moms for a while now; my only close friend nearby with a kid near Ess' age also has a toddler, so her free time is limited (though we do manage to drop in on each other fairly regularly -- we've agreed to a late-afternoon open-door policy, which is a major salvation on those days when I'm going stir-crazy at 3 pm and bedtime is still hours away). This friend also works full-time, so she's not around during the day on Mondays and Tuesdays, when I'm home with Ess. (She works in the schools, so she's home relatively early in the day.)
So I'm hoping that at some point one (or more) of these other feelers I've put out there will result in some fun for Ess and me. As for what finally spurred me to act? It's a combination of a couple things, one of which is the delight Ess clearly takes in being around other kids. (At storytime, she had absolutely no interest in the activities because she was too busy staring wide-eyed at the other babies, several of whom came by to give her toys to hold.)
The other, though, is more significant: I am no longer looking for the Perfect New Mom Friend (tm). I think I've unconsciously been waiting to act until I find someone who is smart, funny and agrees with me on almost everything. And that just ain't gonna happen -- nor should it. So rather than sit in my house alone, reading the Baby ABC book over and over and over again, I'd like to hang out with some folks I like reasonably well. And if one of them turns out to be the Perfect New Mom Friend later on? So much the better.
posted by mc at 3:51 PM
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