Thursday, September 08, 2005

Meme wannabe

A while back, I wrote a post called Monday night gerunds, which I described as a meme-in-waiting. Since then, Carter has been kind enough to follow suit not once, but twice. It's no 100 things, but I'm giving it another shot here just in case anyone else is so moved.

Watching: The O.C. It is my ultimate guilty pleasure. Darren's at another Sox game tonight, so I went to friends' house to eat pizza, drink red wine and watch the season premiere. I have to admit that I was overly excited at the beginning of the fall TV season -- my motto is that I watch very, very little TV, but what I do watch is absolute trash. Except for the Amazing Race, which is somehow slightly less trashy than the others since it involves travel. It makes no sense, but whatever.

Stressing: About work, in a major way. I've had the attention span of a tse-tse fly this week, today especially. I do my best work when I have large blocks of relatively uninterrupted time -- editing, in particular, requires a kind of concentration that is really hard to replicate after 97 interruptions. I spent all day today not-editing one story. In fact, I was most productive in the hour I worked at home this morning (couldn't sleep, so was up editing at 6), and in the first 90 minutes at the office. There's no way I can finish what I need to by the end of the day tomorrow, so I see at least half a day at the computer over the weekend. Ugh. And on top of the workload, there is a personnel issue that's eating up a lot of brain space. Wish I could write more about it but I think that would be unwise.

Fretting: About the whole fertility thing. This is yet another month in which we thought we timed everything perfectly, but seem to have been wrong. In another few days, when we're sure we didn't succeed, I will call the doctor and make an appointment. I've realized in the last few days that I'm really sad about that. But then I've been reading Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, which my chiropractor loaned to me and which is all about the mind-body connection as it relates to women's health. It's a bit crunchy for me, but I do wonder if, as Northrup writes, that the body responds as the mind thinks... in which case I wonder if my continuous waffling and ambivalence about having a baby is part of the problem. (There are obviously 1,001 ways to refute that concept, unintended pregnancies being at the top of the list. But there is, I think, at least a small amount of truth to it.)

Worrying: About my grandmother, who's been back in the hospital since Sunday. Her carotid artery is blocked, which isn't good news, and there is some problem with the length of time between heartbeats... which I guess is to say her pulse? I'm not sure. I thought I understood all this when my mother explained it on the phone, but when I start to write it I realize I have no idea what the situation is. She may be going home from the hospital tomorrow -- she's feeling a million times better, which is great -- but perhaps with a decision to make about next steps, one of which could be a pacemaker. And at 85, she is not very keen on any more big surgeries. So that's a tough one.

Running: Umm, not at all. Not since the race. Not good, especially when life is a little overwhelming.

Loving: My glorious new bathroom. As Meg said, I savor every tooth-brushing, leg-shaving moment.

Anticipating: The week of Sept. 26, which I have decided to take for vacation. We're borrowing a camp (nice Maine term that means cabin or mansion or some other kind of second home, typically near water) some friends own on a lake a couple hours northwest of here. We can hike and kayak and lounge around for free. There's no cell service and no computer. And, most importantly, no work.

Heading: To bed. And goodnight.