The Talk
So D. and I finally had time and energy to catch up on where we are since getting the CF test results. I came home one night this week - Tuesday, maybe? - to find the table beautifully set, including the bottle of Fat Bastard shiraz that S. and T. had brought us last week. I'd left work early - because the Italian grocery where I needed to buy bulk olive oil, fresh mozzarella and pizza dough closes at 5:30 - and was home by 6. Together, D. and I made beautiful margherita pizzas, with farm tomatoes, fresh mozz and farm basil. I made a tossed salad, and we drank our Fat Bastard, and we mellowed into talking. (Someday I'll figure out how to post photos and do the cool foodie dinner photo thing, but for now you're just going to have to take my word for it.)
In any case, we had a long and really mellow, intimate conversation about kids - what we're worried about, what we'd look forward to, what we're leaning toward, etc. We talked and talked and talked. And even moved out of the (eventually uncomfortable) dining room chairs onto the couch, with Rocky the shih tzu in between us.
It's hard to recount now - not that you need a blow-by-blow account anyway - but what remains two days later is just an incredible sense of intimacy. The conversation wasn't contentious at all, as it can sometimes get when either of us gets passionate about something. We really just heard each other out, in a really thoughtful way. The only pressing matter is that my current pack of pills is up on Saturday. That felt like too soon to make a decision as big as this, so we decided that I'd take the next pack, and that in the next four weeks we'd talk some more and come up with a decision about whether we're going to start trying to get preggers.
D. and I both end up in a similar place - we don't not want kids (as we did just a few months ago); we're worried about how the logistics would work out, but determined not to let that affect the big-picture decision; and we are leaning toward kids but can't explain why - and that lack of ability to explain nags both of us super-verbal people.
In all, though, we are really happy right now. The conversations have felt really wonderful to have - no matter what we decide, the talks will have been a good thing for us. And on that mushy note, it's time to Step Away From the Computer.
In any case, we had a long and really mellow, intimate conversation about kids - what we're worried about, what we'd look forward to, what we're leaning toward, etc. We talked and talked and talked. And even moved out of the (eventually uncomfortable) dining room chairs onto the couch, with Rocky the shih tzu in between us.
It's hard to recount now - not that you need a blow-by-blow account anyway - but what remains two days later is just an incredible sense of intimacy. The conversation wasn't contentious at all, as it can sometimes get when either of us gets passionate about something. We really just heard each other out, in a really thoughtful way. The only pressing matter is that my current pack of pills is up on Saturday. That felt like too soon to make a decision as big as this, so we decided that I'd take the next pack, and that in the next four weeks we'd talk some more and come up with a decision about whether we're going to start trying to get preggers.
D. and I both end up in a similar place - we don't not want kids (as we did just a few months ago); we're worried about how the logistics would work out, but determined not to let that affect the big-picture decision; and we are leaning toward kids but can't explain why - and that lack of ability to explain nags both of us super-verbal people.
In all, though, we are really happy right now. The conversations have felt really wonderful to have - no matter what we decide, the talks will have been a good thing for us. And on that mushy note, it's time to Step Away From the Computer.
posted by mc at 9:52 PM
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