Why I am drinking a tiny glass of wine tonight

First of all, because La Leche League says it is ok. And if the same women who tell me not to eat dairy products and urge me to nurse for as long as my child is interested say it is ok to have an occasional glass of wine, I am choosing to believe them.

Second of all, because what a freakin' day. Now that I'm back to work, on Thursdays I will be spending the day at the office, which as I've mentioned ad nauseum is ~85 miles away, meaning that I'm away from home for about 12 hours. This week, though, I went up on Friday. Today. Because the company picnic was today, and since I just started in January and am working part-time and telecommuting and just came back from maternity leave, I figured I needed to show my face... and the faces of my wonderful husband and cute little peanut of a girl.

Which meant that the three of us needed to be out of the house by 7 am.

We almost made it; I think we pulled out of the driveway about 7:15. Ess slept the whole way there, then nursed in the car in the parking lot. D took her off for a walk around town and a nap in the park, then came back to pick me up around noon. She nursed again and we went to the picnic, held at the lodge of a local ski area. Blah blah company picnic/schmooze the CEO and his wife/try to nurse the baby among lots of co-workers, which was a little weird/eat gross, greasy hamburger/watch interminable skits/nurse some more/ blah blah.

And then we headed home. At this point, Ess had not slept a whole lot. She'd dozed during the skits, but that was about it. So she and I both napped a bit while D drove. I woke up after about 20 minutes, when we hit miserable August-Friday-on-the-coast-of-Maine traffic, and she'd been awake for a while. Her contentment quickly turned to misery, and as we sped up and slowed down, she screamed and quieted, screamed and quieted. We stopped in Outletville so I could nurse her while D ran into the grocery store to buy zuchini for the meal we planned to make (but for which we turned out to lack several other essential ingredients; apparently the sleep deprivation is getting to us). She had a giant poop, seemed happy and off we went. Ten minutes later she was screaming again. And then she finally fell asleep... just as we crossed the bridge into our town, five minutes from our house.

I'm sure you can imagine what came next... a little bit of contentment, and then hours of misery. We bounced, we sang, we rocked, we nursed, we wore her in the sling. Nothing calmed her. She did fall asleep briefly in my arms, but woke angrier than ever when I put her down. Eventually, by bouncing on the ball while wearing her in the sling and running the hair dryer, she calmed down. So we decided to go for a walk in the hopes that it would knock her out.

We walked for an hour. And came home with a crying baby.

I took her out of the sling, resisting the temptation to drop her off at our neighbors' party and run. And then I bicycled her legs and did some belly massage. She became mysteriously calm, though she grunted a bit when I did the massage. I nursed her for a bit. And then there was some more grunting, and then a giant poop. And a giant spitup.

And now she is asleep in the cosleeper. But we are absolutely exhausted. And also somewhat delirious. We've decided to cancel plans to see some good friends who are only in Maine for a short while; we were supposed to visit with them (an hour-and-a-half away) on Sunday, but between Ess' new trend of being completely out of sorts and unable to sleep when she's been overstimulated and the miserable weekend traffic on Route One, we have just decided to bag it. I am sad we won't get to see them and their new daughter, but we have to have some sanity around here.

And all of that, my friends, is why I am having this tiny glass of wine.

Apologies for the length of this post about nothing; as someone famous said, If I'd had the time, I would have made it shorter.